Man.
300.
I went in, knowing I was straight, but came out thinking otherwise.
This movie was quite possibly the worst thing I have ever seen. I felt the entire experience was an exersize in homosexuality, while constantly doing things that have already been done. It was a persistant battle for "glory," which apparrently means buttsex.
From the onset, 300 takes itself entirely too seriously, with bad incidental music and a narrator that seems to think that the audience is in fact blind, and needs a radio-drama announcer for everything that happens. The movie is constant drama with no real reason to be dramatic, because there is no conflict established in the story. Yes, yes, the conflict was the Persians trying to fight the Spartans, but army vs army doesnt freaking qualify if there's no reason for the armies to be fighting.
Slow motion: God, yes, fine, slow mo looks great in battle sequences, but when the queen is walking into the next room we do NOT FREAKING NEED a goddamn stab of music and a slow motion shot of her pacing around. And we do NOT FREAKING NEED this repeated every three minutes.
In terms of acting, I deplored Gerard Butler from the beginning of Phantom of the Opera, but I admit he seemed more suitable for this role. However, after watching him drop into a scottish accent more often than I drop into a British one, the character became totally unbelievable. This film had some actors that I've actualy enjoyed in previous films, most notably the narrator, David Wynam, who I loved as Faramir in the Lord of the Rings. However, when the movie is set in GREECE, and 99 percent of the GREEKS do not look GREEK, I tend to get angry.
Now, the main reason for my loathing for this movie: gayness.
Anybody that knows me will know that I am in no way against homosexuality, and those that don't particularly know me will probalby think I am gay myself (which, ladies, I am most definitely not). The movie started out with hulking slabs of ab walking around in thongs and capes and nothing else, and kept going with every sort of gay innuendo that could possibly be concieved without actually admitting it. When the persian king who looks like a very bodily pierced extra from a remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show keeps insisting that the king of Sparta "kneel" to show his submission, I get very worried.
If the damn bastards would just kiss, it would make everything better.
This movie makes my head ache. Don't see it, for the love of god, don't. Ask Caitlin, ask Ben. Don't ask Erin, 'cause she loves man on man action, and from the sound of it, so does Rob.
About Me
- Harrison
- I'm a nerd with soul, I'm a critic with heart, I'm a joker with compassion, I'm a performer with a fear of stages. I'm a romantic with relationship issues, I'm a writer with too many places to start. I'm a friend with friends...And that's all that matters.
5 comments:
My roommate is really excited to see that movie, so I think he'll be in for an unpleasant surprise.
And what's this about Rob and the man-on-man action? Sounds like Erin has gotten to him :-/
Maybe Scott. <.<
I didn't LOVE the movie. Visually it was beatiful and I was trying to follow the storyline but caitlin and you just kept talking. Im sorry but did you notice how angry the ppl next to us were? You gotta shut up in movie theaters. I liked the movie and yeah there was alot of homosexual undertones but eh, what can you do? The Greeks were very sexually explorative don't forget.
Erin
Okay, point taken, erin, but did you also notice that out of the whole theatre, there were a total of ten people there? if the people didnt like us, they could have moved, or god forbid, asked us to be quiet. seriously, the whole theatre and they choose RIGHT NEXT TO US. depressing, really.
HA HA!
I heard from Alex who heard from Ben about the movie.
I have asked to see this thing. I think we're going to see it when it hits DVD. I know I want to! This sounds unbelievably bad! (aka good bad movie). Though I thought it was gory from the previews...and the interspearsed computer action is going to bite.
Now I'm intrigued to see this thing. (Actually I was intrigued after I heard about it).
~The Diplomat's Girlfriend
I wonder if the problem is films just overplaying the homosexuality thing. I hear one of the other recent Greek recreations, "Alexander," does that similarly (though I have to say, "Alexander," from what I heard, is quite horrible for other reasons as well. That's a film I really want to see for reasons of unintentional humor). It's a bit of culture shock, which really is not homophobia. I read Plato's "Symposium," and it's talking about the epitome of love as being for one's favored "[male] youth." I should also qualify what I say with the statement that I am in no way against homosexuality. However, the statement in Plato is alienating, as I cannot know the feeling of that form of love. So, my initial reaction was of alienation.
Since ancient Greek sexuality is thus alienating (for me. I suppose I can't speak for the rest of the world), it needs to be treated just right for it to sit well in a movie. 300 seems like it does not do this, and so, it's probably going to seem a horrible movie to me, for that reason.
Enough dissertation.
Night.
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